Eyes Closed.

If happiness was the sun, then today I'm feeling night,
Coldness consumes the soul, And disappears out of sight.

Today I learned what loneliness is, Hitting me faster than a rocket,
For joy has left me with nothing but pain, Nothing that I can do to stop it.

Today misery was in my home, Spreading itself through the air,
Bitter feelings slowly growing, Yet nobody seems to care.

I try to call to those beloved, And scream my heart out loud,
But the harder I try to reach them, The further they are in the crowd.

Feeling all alone, I seek to find the path to stand up high,
But every time I stood, I felt the ground break down my life.

The more I pushed to patch the problem that chipped my heart in pieces,
The more I realized that today I have been turned off by switches.

Today I watched as those I love grew parting ways much further,
Te stabbing wound from back to chest as my body lies in murder.

Lying there I force myself I struggle to fight my fight,
As darkness consumes my empty soul, and my eyes closed tight.

-Mark Llanos

Never Such A Girl

Eyes so beautiful,
Smell so sweet,
Misunderstood, so I've heard from your head to your feet,
Was loved by another or so I was told,
It's hard to keep giving i the heart has turned cold,
Your smile has me thinking,
Though at times it don't show,
That it's you I'm picturing but I won't let you know,
Is it love or is it lust,
It seems too early to tell,
Is it destiny at hand or just a temporary spell,
Your kiss is amazing,
Something out of this world,
Making it hard to not say that you are my girl,
I believe in a tale that was told to me long,
That there's 2 pieces of a heart and to each person it belongs,
To mold as one and forever be one,
Through the good and bad,
To the end of life come,
I say this with meaning yet deep down I'm somewhat scared,
Can a man really love really feel like a woman really cares,
If it's true so be it,
Cause my actions will show,
With words it's not enough to just let that one know.
-Mark Llanos 2/2005

Broken Shadow

My broken shadow,
Follows me around,
Soft like whispering willows,
Humming an eerie sound.
Yet it shows no flaw,
Despite the times I fell down.
As my broken shadow could not carry me,
It came tumbling to the ground.
With me it collapsed helplessly,
My broken shadow please forgive me.

My broken shadow,
witnessed all of days,
And when there was no sun to shine below,
My broken shadow drowns in the rain with my sorrow,
Yet my shadow hasn't abandoned me or disappeared,
Despite my uncontrollable shedding of tears.
As the drops fell to the floor,
My broken shadow is not whole anymore...
-Rona Llanos '99

An Attempt on a Taglish Poem...

Nagtitiis sa pagkukulang mo,
Mahal mo ako, binubulong kong sinungaling sa puso ko,
Mahal mo ako diba,
So say you love me,
Say I'm the right one for you and you have no future without me,
Yakapin mo ako ng mahigpit,
Hanggang sa di na makahinga,
Para sa piling mo makakarating ako ng langit.
-Rona LLanos '99

...

It's a curse,
It's a terminal sickness,
I try,
To self medicate this madness,
That gives me insomnia,
That makes me blind,
Giving me mild paranoia,
That plays with my mind,
A heart attack,
Combined with this addiction,
Dependency on you,
Diagnosed fatal attraction,
That give me fever,
High and low,
Drops of sweat,
Like tears of sorrow,
I am told there is no remedy,
I die slowly.
-Rona Llanos '02

Haunted

Haunted by your smell that you leave on my skin,
Haunted by your touch that comes deep from within,
And I haunt you in return,
And my presence won't burn,
In your car when you look and I'm not there,
In the mirror I stand behind you with a cold stare,
In the bed where I hide under the sheets,
In your heart my restless soul weeps,
Haunted by your existence in my life,
Hunted by the life you set aside,
Haunted y your face I see in my dreams,
Haunted of thoughts of what could have been.
-Rona Llanos '01

Guitara

(an attempt to write a poem in Tagalog)

Aalagaan kita at mamahalin,
Libangan ko at di ako binibitin,
Sapagkat ako'y nagiging tapat sa iyo,
'di pagpapalit at sa'yo lang aamo.

Aawitan kita at aking yayakapin,
Buong umaga, hapon pati gabi,
Marasap kayakap kahit malamig,
Hinahanap-hanap 'pag wala sa tabi.

Kasama kita sa hirap at ginhawa,
Ang tanging kausap at nakakaintindi,
'pag wala sa piling di na mapakali,
Alaala'y aking minumunimuni.

Binibigyang kulay ang buhay ko,
Sa palagay ko ito nga ay totoo,
Guitara o guitarang hawak ko ngayon,
Sinasamahan ako sa lahat ng panahon.

-Rona Llanos '94

7161996

I haven't published this poem anywhere, but I wrote it in 1996 when I got homesick from my friends.

It's the 16th of July again,
Today is our birthday.
Be happy my dear friends,
Though I may be a bit lonely.
In my absence I hear this song,
Singing in the wind for all of you,
Blowing into my heart where you belong.
I will forever hold our friendship,
It's the only thing in my life right now that's true.
Too bad memories pass,
If I could stop time I would make our moments together last.
So I can stay and relive the moments we have together,
These days I tend to just stop and remember.
A lot has changed,
But never this friendship that I treasure.
And I am sure as I write this poem today,
Inspired with hope and love and faith,
To my friends far away.
-Rona Llanos July16 1996

...

(this is actually an excerpt from a song I attempted to make back in 2002, I'm pretty sure my hubby can help me finish this piece )

(Refrain)
...I promise to take care of you
to love you
and to hold
We'll have stories of happy endings
like fairy tales are told
I can't imagine being anywhere else
It's just you and no one else

(Chorus)
This is the moment that we planned
When we become one and just hold hands
There is no need for words
Just your stare
Is all I need
To know that I was meant for you and you for me.